How to Ensure Your Loved One is Safe in a Nursing Home

Turning the care of a loved one over to strangers can be a scary step. However, there is much you can do to ensure the continued safety and well-being of your loved one, even if you have to make the difficult choice to place them in a nursing home.

Just because your parents or other loved ones require more care than you are able to provide on a daily basis, doesn’t mean they don’t need you. You still have a role to play as their primary caregiver and advocate, even if you’re not there every hour of every day.¹

Here are some keys to ensuring your loved one remains safe and secure in a nursing home.

It’s important to thoroughly vet any facility you are considering for the care of your loved one, but your diligence doesn’t end after the sales pitch.² Not only should you pay attention to the state of affairs before committing to a facility, but you also need to keep an eye (and nose!) on things after your loved one moves in.

And don’t forget to keep your nose open; while there are some funky odors that are inevitable, the persistent scent of urine or ammonia is not a good sign. You also want to listen to how staff members talk to the nursing home residents. They should address residents respectfully, using their names or “Mr.” and “Mrs.,” rather than pet names or terms, like “Mama” or “Grandpa.”

Any change in personality, mood, sleeping or eating habits, or physical activity should be investigated. Not all signs of abuse show up as bruises or bedsores, although any sign of either should be reported immediately. If your loved one seems depressed, fearful or lethargic, you need to take immediate action and talk to the unit supervisor or head nurse.

Don’t be afraid to ask your loved one if something is making them uncomfortable, but understand they may be afraid to tell the truth for fear of retribution. You may need to be prepared to move them immediately if abuse is discovered.³ Any financial changes in their accounts, such as unexpected large withdrawals, should also be investigated. In fact, it may be best to appoint a family member as power of attorney and establish a protocol that requires their approval for any financial transactions.

One of the best ways to ensure your loved one is receiving the care they deserve is to visit often. If you can’t stop by every day, make sure you pop in several times per week and keep your visits unscheduled and at different times of day. Not only does this allow you to stay on top of how your loved one is being treated even when the staff doesn’t expect you, it also affords you the opportunity to be a bright spot in your loved one’s day. You can bring a favorite treat, book or photo album and spend time enjoying each other’s company. One of the benefits of no longer being a full-time caregiver is the luxury of spending stress-free, relaxed time with your loved one where you can really connect.

It can be hard to trust other people to take care of your parents. A wireless camera lets you check on them at any time, and if you get one with continuous recording, you can go back to check video footage at any time. 

But putting a camera in a nursing home room isn't an automatic right in most states. Only Illinois, Louisiana, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Texas, and Washington currently allow families to install cameras in nursing home rooms, but you still need to get your parent's consent first.⁵

In every other state, it's up to each facility to craft their own camera rules. If you decide to ignore any anti-camera policies, the evidence you collect might not hold up in court.

View our lineup of best wireless cameras to explore options. 

Video calling is a great way to connect with your loved one when you can't be there in person. It also lets you see their body language and surroundings so you can pick up on subtle clues that something's not right. Plus, your loved one will be comforted by seeing your face too—something that's lacking in a traditional security camera.

One of our favorite video calling devices is the Amazon Echo Show. If your parent experiences limited mobility or forgetfulness, set up the "drop in" feature to have calls automatically connect. Learn more about the Echo Show in our full Amazon Alexa guide.

AngelSense is another gadget that lets you drop in to hear what's going on at any given moment. If your loved one is at risk of wandering away from the nursing home, this device can also track their location to find them quickly.

There's also an SOS button that your parent can press to call your cell phone. But this can be both a blessing and a curse—your loved one might forget to use it, feel too embarrassed to use it, or even use it too often. In short, don't rely on that feature alone.

If you do notice something that concerns you, make sure you go through the proper channels to get to the bottom of the situation or make sure the deficiency is addressed. You typically want to start with the unit manager on your loved one’s floor. They should be the most in tune with both the staff and residents and will be able to investigate and take proper action most expediently.

If you don’t get the results you want from that conversation, it’s time to start moving up the chain of command. The facility should have a formal grievance or complaint process that you should follow if a problem becomes persistent, and that policy should ensure that your concern is addressed within a quick timeframe, usually within 48 hours. If you are still displeased, pull out the big guns and contact the nursing home administrator directly. And if that doesn’t do the trick, you may want to contact the nursing home regulatory agency in your state to file a complaint.⁶

• What's the Difference Between an Assisted Living Facility and a Nursing Home?
• Is it Safe for My Parent to Live Alone?
• 10 Ways to Upgrade Your Home for an Older Family Member
• How to Help Aging Parents Drive Longer
• How to Talk to Your Parents about Medical Alert Systems

1. Carol Bradley Bursack, AgingCare, "I Promised My Parents I'd Never Put Them in a Nursing Home," April 2021. Accessed April 8, 2022.
2. US Department of Health and Human Services, "Your Guide to Choosing a Nursing Home," October 2019. Accessed April 8, 2022.
3. Administration for Community Living, "Elder Abuse Prevention," March 2022. Accessed April 8, 2022.
4. Marisa Kwiatowski et al., USA Today, “‘A National Disgrace: 40,600 Deaths Tied to US Nursing Homes,” June 2020. Accessed April 8, 2022.
5. Elder Law Answers, "Can You Put a Surveillance Camera in a Nursing Home Room?" December 2018. Accessed April 8, 2022.
6. Amber Heckler, After 55, "Agencies That Regulate Assisted Living, State by State," May 2016. Accessed April 8, 2022.
7. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "Interim Infection Prevention and Control Recommendations to Prevent SARS-CoV-2 Spread in Nursing Homes," February 2022. Accessed April 8, 2022.
8. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration, “Nursing Homes and Personal Care Facilities Hazards and Solutions.” Accessed April 8, 2022.